Dear Courtney – This is a love letter to you from Celtics fans worldwide, just to let you know that we’re all about you at the moment. We think you’re hot, and we want to make you ours. Let us woo you. We’ve got a lot to offer, and we’re going to go overboard to show you how much we want to be seen with you. All we gotta do is figure out how to steal you away from your current beau. Your agent is working it. Danny Ainge is trying to figure it out. Doc wants you in the fold, you know that, and from the vibes you’re putting off we think you want us, too.
We dig the fact that you’re young and hip, and not old and in need of a hip. We want to take you all over the place and show you off. Miami. Chicago. New York. Los Angeles. Let us wine and dine you, let us give you a rock…and not just any rock, we’re talking about THE rock. Yeah, we want it in your hands, because we know you’ll take care of it and do the right thing.
We hope you consider going out with us – we’ve just acquired a shiny new JET to take you places. We’ve got a Big Ticket that will get you into all of the shows. And we promise you The Truth and nothing but.
We’ve just got to figure out how to pry you away from your Houston beau.