The newest bombardier brother playing ball for the Celtics is a J-E-T, and he’s happy to be dropping the landing gear and pulling the trigger in Boston. Something tells me this is a marriage made in heaven, a player who has all of the confidence in the world and who can happily share the spotlight with any number of Celtic teammates. Jason Terry, thank you for being you. We need you this season if we’re going to have any chance at all, and all we need you to do is come to town and do what you do. You’ve already made me forget about Ray Allen, because Allen is dead to me now, and you’re the man who I want to come in and thrill us with your long range shooting touch.
Won’t be easy, just warning you. Allen is with the Heat now, and Miami has just signed Rashard Lewis. But the way I look at it, the Heat can only start five. There’s only one basketball. They can only have 12 men on their active roster, just like us. You’re an upgrade over Allen, as far as I’m concerned. At least you’ll be on the floor, we can count on that. And you’re straight butter with the ball in your hands. Smooth as they come. Allen can run for days and knock down the long ball, but I think you’re better at getting to the rack. You’ve got a crossover. Allen does crossword puzzles. Not even close. You’re both old by NBA standards, but I feel like you’re better built. Must be those socks, or that headband, or some combination of both.
Can’t wait to see you rocking a Celtics jersey. You’re going to look right at home, no question about it, and the fans are going to love you for it. We’re a loyal bunch, and we welcome in our new players in a way that other cities just can’t match. And oh, baby, I can close my eyes and envision Game 7 of the 2013 Eastern Conference Finals. Celtics / Heat. Close game. Allen clanks a three, drawing iron. Ball’s in your hands now, but it might as well be a scalpel because you’re going to cut the Heat’s hearts out.
Jason Terry, popping shots like they’re falling through a canyon. And doing it for our Boston Celtics. And we’re all loving every minute of it.