LEN BIAS: CROSSOVER
A novel
By: Michael D. McClellan | September 19, 2010
"Jason honey, how do you feel?"
"What do you think?" I try to move my hands but can't; they're strapped down to the bed railing. "What are these?"
"Bindings," Emily says glumly. "After what happened yesterday-"
"Why did you let them do this?"
"You went through a lot, they had to calm you down. You slept the entire evening and all through the night."
I stare at the TV, where the anchorwoman and her guest are now talking about a missing child in South Carolina. I think about the Sports Illustrated article again. The condition of the magazine, how old it looked. How old it felt. How old it smelled.
"Emily, I need to know..."
"Yes?"
"The date...today...what day is it?"
She hesitates. Looks at me nervously. "It's Saturday, July 9."
"The year, please."
"2011. Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Why did you hold back? You're lying, you're no better, you're just like the others."
"Jason, please..."
"Don't play me."
"What? What are you talking about? Why are you talking to me like that?"
"Why did you let them tie me down?"
"The doctors are concerned that you might hurt yourself, that you've been through too much too soon."
Right, doctors...
That feeling of déjà vu hits me again. That face. Those eyes. Alice... Alyssa...
And just like that it all comes pouring back - the surreal dream that never ends, looping until I'm alone with the ancient sorceress from Wales and all of her magic tricks. The final hours of my life played out against the heavens. The promise of a second chance. The Lord's will. His plan.
Welcome to your crossover, Leonard.
Alyssa?
I'm here with you.
What is happening to me?
You are fulfilling God's purpose, and the time has come for you to step forward and do your part. Remember what was written in the Book of Proverbs: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
I don't want this...
What's done is done. Time moves in but one direction and we are all powerless to turn it back.
You said that I had free will...
And that you do.
Then I chose to have my old life back.
Your life as Len Bias ended on June 19, 1986, the result of free will. Your life as Jason Schuler begins now. It is also yours to do with as you so choose.
"Jason? Hon, are you okay?"
"Huh?"
"You zoned out. You're shaking."
I stare down at trembling hands, my arms bound to the railings like a prisoner. Your life as Jason Schuler begins now. The words slice me open to the soul. I try to summon Alyssa, first inside my head and then by screaming loud enough that two nurses rush into the room, but my connection to her is gone as quickly as it had come. Only the date remains. July 9, 2011. I feel Alyssa's presence all around it, erasing the last shred of hope and doubt from my mind. There is no turning back. I know this now. I struggle against the bindings and cry all of the air from my lungs, my mind suddenly tortured by twenty-five years of missed birthdays, lost Christmases and squandered dreams. I cry until there is nothing left, except for the stone cold emptiness that comes from the realization of a life wasted.
