LEN BIAS: CROSSOVER
A novel
By: Michael D. McClellan | September 19, 2010
The weekend is a blur of nurses, therapists, orderlies, nutritionists, phone calls and family visits. Emily's brother stops by to check on me, another stranger hell-bent on sharing his stories and filling the gaps in Jason Schuler's missing past. His name is Mark Dutton. He grew up in Wooster, and he currently works at the college as an administrator. We met while I was still coaching at the school and we apparently became fast friends, playing poker and golf and splitting the cost of Ohio State football season tickets. Emily was married and living in New York State at the time, and Mark makes it clear that he didn't like Em's then-husband, Scott. He tells me that we talked about that a lot back then. He talks about it a lot with me now. Scott was a roughneck on a drilling rig, an abusive womanizer who drank too much and usually headed to the bar on his days off, looking for a fight. Mark never understood what Emily saw in him, and was the one who convinced her to file for divorce. By then she'd spent five miserable years with Scott, and when she returned to Wooster Mark knew just the right person for her. The problem, though, was that Emily wasn't ready for another relationship. She refused to be fixed up, refused to go out, refused to give Jason Schuler the time of day. So Mark took matters into his own hands, setting up that 'chance' meeting in the Sugar Creek area of Amish country, and sticking us together on that tourist train for nearly two hours. The rest, as Mark likes to say now, is matchmaking history.
Over the weekend I learn that I like Mark Dutton, and I can see why Jason Schuler would like him, too. He's easy with a smile, quick with a joke, and full of nervous energy. He reminds me a lot of Jay in that respect. I also learn that if there's something on Mark's mind, then it's never far from coming out of his mouth. Jason, my sister tells me you're wearing a diaper while you're in the hospital - don't act up and get yourself in trouble, the doctors might decide to put you in time-out! Oh, and since you don't remember anything before the accident, just know that I wasn't the one who fired you as the basketball coach at Wooster - I'm just the one who processed the paperwork! On and on he goes, from the moment he arrives on Saturday afternoon, allowing Emily to get some rest at John's house, until the moment he heads home on Sunday evening.
The humor is a welcomed change. It keeps my mind off of things and helps the time, bringing me one step closer to finding my family. I miss them. I try not to think about how they're going to react. I try not to think about how I ended up this way. Mark's never ending stream of stories and all of his jokester material helps, but during those frequent moments of silence I can't help but to go there mentally Is this a curse? A spell? Again and again I question my sanity. Over and over I pray that this is all just a dream.
I think about that old Jimmy Stewart movie, It's a Wonderful Life. I can see his character, George, standing on that bridge, ready to jump, only to be beaten to the punch by his guardian angel. George jumps in and saves him, and soon they're wandering around town, learning what the place would have been like had he never been born. We used to watch that movie every Christmas. It was one of my mother's favorites. And now here I am, in another person's body, wondering aloud if I'd ever been born.
~ ~ ~
When Emily returns on Sunday she looks refreshed, energized. She's an attractive woman, a brunette with naturally curly hair and a warm smile that shows off two rows of brilliantly perfect teeth. Blue eyes. Her hands are soft and delicate, with the long fingers of a pianist. She's wearing a white cotton top and a blue summer skirt with the hemline at the knees. She thanks Mark for staying, kisses her brother goodbye, and we're alone again.
"John and Abbey send their love," she says, smiling. They're going to stop by tomorrow evening and spend some more time with you."
"Do I like my brother?"
"What?"
"We seem so different - he's the rich lawyer, I'm a high school basketball coach. I just wondered if we really got along."
"John's got a very good heart," Emily says. "He's always been consumed with his career. He likes the spotlight, no question about that - but so did you when you were playing ball. You still do as a coach. John excelled in academics. You excelled in athletics, and that's where you've made a name for yourself."
"But how close are we?"
"You're close, but not like me and Mark. You each are very driven in what you do, so it's hard to be close when you're that focused on something."
She says this and I think about Jay. I don't know how it works out here in the country, but back home my kid brother is also my best friend. He comes to my games, I go to his. It's been that way since the beginning and will be that way until the end - college, high school, junior high, summer league, church league, pickup games, you name it. When we were younger I made sure that nobody picked on him, that he made it safely to school and back, that he stayed out of trouble. He's six years younger but we talk all of the time. About everything. Music, movies, girls. Over the past year we've talked the most about me playing in the NBA. The conversation always stokes me up, but Jay gets so excited at the thought that many times he can't sit still. He can't wait to see me play, to go to the games and see all of those great All-Star players that he idolizes. His favorites are Isiah Thomas and Julius Erving. Magic Johnson is a close third, but Magic plays for the Lakers. Now that I play for the Celtics, Jay knows that he'll need to scratch Magic off the list and make room for Larry Bird. But his favorite player of all time? Me. Always has been. Lying here now, I wonder if John has ever gone to any of Jason's games. Supported him. Screamed his name. Encouraged him when things weren't going well.
"How often do we do things together?"
"We always get together as a family for Thanksgiving and Christmas. John and Abbey have have two daughters that keep them very busy."
"Do you like him?"
"Of course I do."
"That doesn't sound very convincing."
Emily hesitates. "Okay, I find him a little pretentious, and absolutely too political for my taste. You knew that before the accident, it's only fair that you know that now."
"Do I like him?"
"He's your only brother, Jason."
"That's not what I asked."
"Jason-"
"Emily..."
"Okay, okay...honestly, not really."
"Why don't I like him?"
"I don't know. Maybe because John's always been in it for John, and on some level maybe you've always resented him for that. Do I think you love him? Yes. Absolutely, you love him. You're a good person and you love your family like I do, even the cold, calculating ones who are in it only for themselves. Do I think you like him? Honestly, no. Not at all."
"Thank you."
"That's a strange thing to thank me for."
"I had a hunch, and you confirmed it for me. I think that's a sign of progress."
"Progress is a good thing," Emily says, sliding into the chair beside me. She smiles, and it lights up her whole face. She pulls out an unopened deck of cards from her purse. "The good news is that you're getting stronger every day. The bad news is that you're going to be flat on your back for awhile. Dr. Abraham wants that leg elevated for at least another week. So until you're able to move around we'll play blackjack, gin rummy, spit, speed, whatever you like. I bought twenty brand new decks. When we've finished a playing session I'll take that deck home and we'll open another. You heard what the doctor said about germs and ICU."
